Bloody Malfoy
by SaneLilies
Summary: Ron's worst nightmare has come true -though to be honest, he never imagined it would happen. One-shot. After the war.


**So I was watching some of the Harry Potter movies and I could understand why people would ship Draco with Harry or Hermione. What I realized is that I've never ever come across a fanfiction with Ron and Draco falling in love (though I understand why! Those two would probably kill each other before romance would start!). I've always wondered how Ron would react if Harry or Hermione actually did have a crush on Draco. Would he be mad then eventually understand? (That might happen if Harry liked Draco). Or would he stay mad (definitely would happen in Hermione's case) ?**

**So, I got a little idea for a little one-shot. **

* * *

><p>Ron Weasley's life was perfect. He was married to the woman he loved, Hermione Granger (or now called Weasley), and he and his best friend, the one and only Harry Potter, had finally understood each other and were rarely on bad terms (though he was wary of Harry sometimes when he and his wife, Ginny Potter, were together in front of him). Still, life was perfect.<p>

Until that dreaded day. He did not recall that Harry and Ginny would be visiting when he came back home from work and could hear Harry, Ginny, and Hermione's voices. It sounded like they were arguing and shouting. Had Hermione accidentally ranted off about his habits of always throwing his clothes on the floor that Ginny got defensive over Ron? Or were Harry and Ginny having a fight and Hermione was trying to resolve the problem?

He cautiously unlocked his door and entered the house. He could her their voices clearer now. They were in the living room. Ginny was wailing in distress, begging Harry that it was not true, but Harry seemed to be ignoring Ginny. He was too busy addressing Hermione in an angry voice, "Stay away from him. He's _mine._"

"Your's? You hate him!"

"I saved his life back in the war!"

"Because you owed him!"

"Well, you punched him."

"We were kids! _Honestly_! Harry, back off." Ron entered the living room. Harry and Hermione were standing up, facing each other, as if ready to duel. He hoped not since he and Hermione just bought the couches last week. Ginny was clutching Harry's arm in dismay as tears ran down her face. She kept on calling her husband's name, but Harry ignored her.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" He demanded. Harry and Hermione turned to face him, shock replacing the anger that were on their faces. Only Ginny wasn't shocked and she kept on crying.

Ginny threw her arms around Ron's neck. "Oh Ron!" she sobbed into his chest.

"What's wrong Ginny?" he asked as he gently pulled his sister off him. "Why are you crying?"

Before Ginny could answer, Hermione spoke up. "Let me tell him, Ginny. He should know, but I should be the one to tell him."

"I think I should confess too with you. He's my best friend," Harry added.

Ron's eyes widened. "You haven't been sleeping with each other? Please no."

Hermione covered her lips and he could see his wife's shoulders shaking. She was trying not to laugh. "Sleeping together, Ronald? Really? You know how we feel about each other."

"I know, but-" Ron was confused. "What is going on?"

Hermione stopped laughing and turned to look at Harry, but Harry was looking at Ron. "Ron," he said gently, "there's no easy way to say this." Ginny let out another sob.

"You're divorcing my sister?" Ron demanded, his anger bubbling. "Is that so, Potter?"

Hermione held back a groan. "Stop guessing and let him speak!"

"Fine. Spit it out then, Harry. Come with it."

"Hermione and I are in love with Draco."

Ron's knees hit the floor and everything went black as he fell forward. His last thought was _Why didn't we put a bloody rug in the living room?_

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><p>Ron opened his eyes to find Hermione shaking him. She, Harry, and Ginny were kneeling beside him on the floor. He groaned and mumbled, "I think I'd rather have you two sleeping with each other than crushing on Malfoy."<p>

Hermione laughed, a sweet angelic laugh, as Harry and Ginny grinned at each other. "What's so funny? This isn't funny. It's _Malfoy._"

"Oh silly, sweet, Ronald," Hermione said, still smiling, as she cupped his face. "This was just a prank."

Ron blinked. "A prank?"

"Yes, dear."

"So you both aren't in love with Malfoy?"

Harry snorted. "Ron, get real. Do you think that would ever happen?"

"Well, you three are very good actors."

Ginny smiled and, with Hermione's help, sat him up. "We have real news, Ron. Good news," Ginny told him, grinning very widely.

"Oh God. You're in love with Malfoy too?"

Hermione smacked the back of his head. "Let her speak. Honestly, Ron."

Ron muttered a "Yes ma'am," and turned to Ginny waiting for her to speak. She took a deep breath and said, "I'm pregnant Ron." So, that was how the next hour was spent with Ron chasing Harry around the house screaming, "How dare you touch my sister!" as Hermione and Ginny sighed. They finally calmed Ron down and in order to celebrate Ginny's pregnancy and Hermione and Harry not being in love with Draco, Ron invited them to dinner in a restaurant.

Unfortunately, that was a bad idea because they ran into Draco Malfoy. The rest of the evening was spent with Ron chasing Draco around with an alive crab as Hermione and Ginny furiously apologized to Malfoy's fiancee. Meanwhile, Harry promised the manager of the restaurant that he would pay for all of Ron's damages and the crab.

Lesson learned: Never prank Ron again. Ever.


End file.
